Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Transformation Tuesday

So it's Transformation Tuesday. I have definitely transformed. I went from being broke, depressed, and emotionally vacant (not to mention gross looking) in 2011  to loving my life and being fine as hell in 2014. Am I conceited for saying that? Fuck no. And if that's your opinion, crawl back into your hole and choke on your negativity. There is a huge difference between confidence and conceit. Confidence is looking in the mirror and saying "I ain't mad at that at all, let's go have a rad day". Conceit is looking in the mirror and saying "I don't like what I see, but I'll pretend I do, and then make everyone else feel bad about themselves."
If you relate more to my latter statement. Good luck and enjoy the ass whooping you're about to receive. Bitch, I don't play.
I am absolutely sick and tired of listening to some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen hating themselves. I'm tired of hearing about how you think you look fat/old/ugly etc.
You don't like the way you look? Transform yourself. I don't mean you should change the way you look. Transform the way you think. Love you. All of you. We're not perfect and never will be. Perfect is really hard to live up to, and I'm not even interested. Just do you. I'm definitely going to keep doing me.
If you're still not convinced, come have a chat with me. I promise, you don't look fat in those jeans, that pimple isn't obvious, and no, you don't jiggle when you wiggle. At least not as much as you think. It's Transformation Tuesday, but what are you doing for the rest of the week? I'll just be over here, kicking ass and taking names.
Now, who's looking forward to Way Back Wednesday?

Monday, June 9, 2014


Sometimes, we fuck up. We ignore what the universe is providing us. We would rather deny the sun, and live in darkness. Mark my words, it's a mistake. I recently made such an error.
My blog is all about honesty.The truth hurts, but so does life. So let's put it all out there. I'm not big on lies these days. 
I really thought that I was ready to end it. I was so depressed, so stressed. I thought "Fuck it. I'm done"
I went and bought the cheapest fifth of vodka I could find. I also spent $20 on 10 Norcos. I was really going to do it. Then, for some reason, I fell asleep. When I woke up, the vodka was still sitting there, so were the pills. Which by the way, I had crushed for easy digestion. I was so fucking disgusted with myself. Like "Really? Why would you think this wasn't a life worth living? So what, the gas and the Internet has been turned off, you can turn it around, kid."
I immediately took the bottle and smashed it, done. The pills I begrudgingly threw away as well. You wanna know the most interesting part? This didn't actually happen.
It could have. I was really feeling bad. But I'm back. I won't ever ignore the sun again. Because I have too much to live for. I have people in my life who love me. I have a nephew who hasn't met his aunt yet. I have friends, some whom I've never even met, who are pulling for me. Most importantly, I have the spirit of a Kirby. I can't turn my back on that. The strong will survive. And I am nothing if not a survivor. Mom and Dad (and everyone else) I hope you're not too mad at me for this. I hope you understand my point. You've loved my crazy ass for 32 years, let's keep it up.