Monday, May 11, 2015


So, for the second time in six months, I got called a faggot lover. The first guy that did it, said it in person, and I clocked him, right in the mouth. Hey, it was right after a Muay Thai class, I was all amped up. The second guy did it on Facebook. And he's lucky I don't track him down and beat him until he becomes a Sarah lover.
 I hate that word. It's disgusting. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. There's other derogatory terms that bigots use, but I'll save that rant for another post.
 Look, I don't care about how you live, think, feel, or who you love. We are all the same. And we have to learn to get along. It's mandatory.
 I've heard a lot of people saying that being gay is a choice. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, I'm sure someone wakes up one day and says "You know, I think I want to be ostracized by friends, family, society and struggle to be accepted in general. Sounds like a plan."
 Uh, no. It doesn't work that way. If you've ever had a feeling deep in your heart that you just had to follow, a deep seated yearning that you just had to go after,then you should understand. Everyone just wants to be themselves. It's easy for me. I'm a straight, white, and almost middle class woman. No one is really discriminating against me. However, if you're gay, bi, transexual, transgendered, or anywhere on that spectrum, the struggle is real.
 They say haters wanna hate, but I'm sick of hate. So the next time you're thinking about using the word faggot, or anything similar, think about this....We all love, hurt, and cry exactly the same. We all want to be happy with someone, and it needs to be the love of our lives, regardless of gender. No one should ever feel ashamed of who they are,  or who they love. Don't like it? Swallow the pill, douchebag.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Just For You, Ma

Dear Mama,
I post some weird shit on Facebook every year on Mothers Day for you.. This year is a little weirder than most, as you well know.
First off, I love you. More than you know sometimes, and more than I express or convey. I can be a royal bitch, and I know that. I'm sorry. I always thank you for giving birth to me, and putting up with my madness, but this year, I don't want to say thank you for anything. No, this year, I just want to say I'm proud of you. Proud of you for being so damn strong. Proud of you for the life you have lived fearlessly, even when you were scared to death. Proud of you for saying no,  even when I wanted you to say yes,and made you feel terrible when you didn't. Few people have people have ever stood up to me like you. Ma, I'm proud of you for trying to understand me during what is probably the most complicated and perplexing points in my life thus far. Most importantly, I'm proud of you for being a Mom, and a damn good one. Never doubt that, through the good times and the bad. I wish I could be with you this weekend, but I'll see you soon. I love you too much.
Sarah Rae

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Stay Gold

Man, has it really been three years?
I love you, I have since I was thirteen. Listening to Pauls Boutique and License To Ill was probably one of the best things to ever happen to me. Look, my life is a ridiculous mess, but listening to the Beastie Boys is helping me get through it. The day you died, I almost couldn't breathe. I was sitting on a bus, going home to my empty apartment. I was already sad, and then  I found out you were gone. It was like I was in an old folks home and someone stole my oxygen. I thought I would fall apart. I did, I just cried really hard, then I went home and ate ice cream.  I know I don't know you, but damn that shit hurt. You were my John Lennon. Bodhisattva Vow was the business, that was beautiful, kind of like your soul. Very few people on this planet take time out of there lives to do the things that you've done.  Most people will never try to save Tibet with that kind of conviction. Some think that humanitarianism is dead, but I think we both know it's alive and well.
You will always have a place in my heart. And I know I'll see you someday. I'll make you sign an autograph in Heaven. (I'm pushy like that) I said it once, and I'll say it again. Stay gold my friend. See you on the other side. Oh, and to quote you.. There's more sides to me then you'll ever know. Maybe someday we'll sit down, have a cup of tea, and discuss it. I miss you.